Annoying questions about India....

Annoying questions about India....

For the next time you get asked an annoying question
about India...

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice
archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their
wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons
why they had many wives. You see, once they
mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much
about the
country. All those wonderful places, the forests, the
snake charmers,
the elephants! Do you still use elephants for
transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own
elephant in our house.
But later, we started elephant pooling with our
neighbours, to save
the air. You see elephants have an "emission"
problem...

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. (Refer to response
to earlier question).

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers in India are vegetarian.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India, they
employed Indians
as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn
English. So the
British isolated an "English-language" gene and
infused their
servants' babies with it and since then all babies
born are born
speaking English.

A variation to the above is a compliment --- "You
speak very good English."
Response: Thanks. So do you.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that
they would let me
go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils
spontaneously. That is
why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian principles of self-sufficiency. We all make our own cloth.